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to women who jumped the ledge

Goitseone Montsho (2018)

For Bonny
Oh how I mourn you still
Your light so bright
I saw it fade you out of the picture
The heroes curse that made you
Keep everyone afloat on your sinking boat
I saw you sit on that ledge everyday
heard you screaming through your laughter
Saw the troubles in your many attempts to try and make it out alive
Saw you try to jump and we all tried to hold you back
God knows we did
But still you jumped
Oh how I mourn you still

To May-Ayim
Who found me walking
A lonely girl in a lonely city
It is the aloneness that cannot be filled
I imagine it creeping on you when you least expect it
While you sat on the ledge
Until you jumped

To Michelle
Who I walked with
A sister in the struggle against insanity
I saw troubles in her eyes
But her eyes were a mirror that just reflected back my own
Saw her rage against the dying light
until she jumped to the light

My name is Goitseone wa ga Montsho
And I too sit on my ledge
On the edge
It is the rhyme and lines that keep me from jumping
Some days I tiptoe to the edge
And lean out just a little to see the others
To women who want to jump everyday
Women who wear their dark on their sleeve
I see you
Every day you wake up on the wrong side of the world
See you struggle to fit in your skin
In this world that has confined your role
To women who jumped off the ledge
To my sisters who sit on the ledge
To my kin that leans out just far enough to see the other side
I see you

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