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Too late to wake up

Nora Amin (2020)

She was already asleep
And it was too late for me
To wake up.
Eyes closed, I watched her dreams:

A girl raped by her lover
A child abused by solitude
A wife beaten up to tears
To screams in the middle of the night
A brain damage by emotional blackmail
Another wife killing the father of her child
Or at least wishing him death.

A family of invalids
Of cancer wombs mothers
And blind men.
Of beauty married to fear
Of fear feeding on liver
Of rare blood types
No transfusions possible.

A half woman half man
Screaming at night
Alone
Embracing death, insanity
Escaping the ugliness
Of mutilated love.

A skeleton of her
The grandmother, giver
Of life
To cancer
To nonsense family duty
To me
To you.

But you were already asleep.
I saw you dreaming
Of the two girls kissing in the kitchen
The holy place of desire
While their men-in the living room-
Researched the origin of the mystery
Of the clitoris.

I saw you dreaming of them,
Yet I saw you betraying them,
As well.
I saw you being both
The saint and the bitch.
I saw you crying when they
Cried
Trembling with their desire
Their closed eyes
Lips
Licking teardrops
All over the steps
To the abortion clinic.
All over the body
That knew pleasure only
In proximity to death.

I saw you and
I was there when you carelessly
Opened your eye lids
To try and recognize me.
I so wanted to join you
In your sleep
To suck the dead milk
Out of your nipples
To finally cry together
To scream out loud
And wake up everybody.
But-unfortunately-you
Could not say my name.
You remained asleep.
Now with no dreams.
As for me,
It was too late
To wake up.

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