{"id":15664,"date":"2021-03-02T11:22:48","date_gmt":"2021-03-02T10:22:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/stadtsprachen.de\/de\/?post_type=stsp_text&#038;p=15664"},"modified":"2025-08-26T15:26:40","modified_gmt":"2025-08-26T13:26:40","slug":"auslaender","status":"publish","type":"stsp_text","link":"https:\/\/stadtsprachen.de\/en\/text\/auslaender\/","title":{"rendered":"ausl\u00e4nder"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><em>\u0130nsan mutlu oldu\u011funu ya\u015farken de\u011fil, hat\u0131rlarken farkediyor<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Gidelim buralardan<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Herkesin \u00fclkeyi terketme planlar\u0131 yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131 g\u00fcnlerdi. S\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131l\u0131yd\u0131k. Ya\u015farken fark\u0131na varmad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z o g\u00fczel g\u00fcnlerin bir daha asla geri gelmeyece\u011finin ay\u0131rd\u0131na varm\u0131\u015ft\u0131k. Yaz ba\u015flang\u0131c\u0131yd\u0131 ama hava \u015fimdiden \u00e7ok s\u0131cakt\u0131. Belki s\u0131cakl\u0131k ge\u00e7en y\u0131llarla ayn\u0131yd\u0131, ama \u015fehir ayn\u0131 \u015fehir de\u011fildi bizim i\u00e7in art\u0131k; uzun s\u00fcren bir birlikteli\u011fin s\u00fcr\u00fcnerek bitme g\u00fcnleri gibi. Gitti\u011fimiz lokantalar kapanm\u0131\u015f, sevdi\u011fimiz \u015fairler hapsedilmi\u015f, okudu\u011fumuz kitaplar azalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cEn az\u0131ndan bilmedi\u011fimiz bir yer i\u015fte\u201d dedi Suna, \u00e7ok \u00e7ok ince sigaras\u0131n\u0131n duman\u0131n\u0131 yana do\u011fru \u00fcfleyerek. Cihangir\u2019de sa\u011fl\u0131 sollu s\u0131ralanan cafelerin oldu\u011fu bir caddenin en ucunda, g\u00f6lgeli bir masada buzlu \u00e7ay i\u00e7iyorduk. Biz de \u015fehirdeki herkes gibi gitmeyi konu\u015fuyorduk. Suna\u2019n\u0131n bir arkada\u015f\u0131 \u00fc\u00e7 \u00e7ocu\u011funu da alarak Lizbon\u2019a yerle\u015fmi\u015fti. \u00d6ve \u00f6ve bitiremiyordu. Yerle\u015fmeye de\u011fil nefes almaya gidecektik biz \u00fcstelik. \u201cBe\u015f g\u00fcn i\u00e7in her yer g\u00fczeldir, bilmedi\u011fimiz yerler daha g\u00fczeldir\u201d dedi. Hakl\u0131yd\u0131, ilk ke\u015ffetme zamanlar\u0131nda her \u015fey, hep daha g\u00fczeldir. \u201cBenim i\u00e7in hava ho\u015f, bo\u015f gezenin bo\u015f kalfas\u0131y\u0131m\u201d dedi Tuba. Bir y\u0131ld\u0131r i\u015fssiz gazetecilerin aras\u0131na kat\u0131lm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. \u201cYeterince iyi olsan hapse atarlard\u0131, demek \u00e7ok da dokunmam\u0131\u015f yazd\u0131klar\u0131n, i\u015ften atmakla yetindiler\u201d diye dalga ge\u00e7iyorduk aram\u0131zda.<\/p>\n<p>Masadan kalkt\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131zda, ertesi sabah 11.50 u\u00e7a\u011f\u0131na biletlerimizi alm\u0131\u015f, Lizbon havaalan\u0131ndan kiralayaca\u011f\u0131m\u0131z araban\u0131n rezervasyonunu yapm\u0131\u015ft\u0131k bile. Belki o buzlu \u00e7aylara katt\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z votkalar\u0131n da etkisi vard\u0131, ama olan olmu\u015ftu art\u0131k. Lizbon\u2019a gidiyorduk. Suna, Tuba ve ben, Dunya. S\u0131cakta i\u00e7ilen votkalar\u0131n sayesinde belki de, daha ge\u00e7en ay \u015fu an y\u00fcr\u00fcd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fcz caddelerin \u00fcst\u00fcnde u\u00e7an sava\u015f jetlerinin verdi\u011fi korkuyu unutarak, epeydir olmayan a\u011fa\u00e7lar\u0131n g\u00f6lgelerine s\u0131\u011f\u0131namadan evlerimize do\u011fru yola koyuldu\u011fumuzda uzun zamandan beri ilk kez i\u00e7imizi bir umut doldurmu\u015ftu. Ge\u00e7ici de olsa bu umuda hepimizin ne \u00e7ok ihtiyac\u0131 varm\u0131\u015f me\u011fer, bunu ilk kez gitti\u011fimiz o \u015fehirde, Lizbon\u2019da \u00f6\u011frenecektik.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u015eimdi<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>\u015eimdinin anlam\u0131n\u0131 asl\u0131nda sonra ke\u015ffederiz. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc \u015fimdi, ge\u00e7mi\u015fin g\u00f6lgelerini gelece\u011fe ta\u015f\u0131r. \u0130\u00e7inde olmayanlar \u015fimdinin anlam\u0131n\u0131 ge\u00e7mi\u015ften de bilebilir ama. Mesela biz birazdan Tuba\u2019n\u0131n Melih\u2019e \u201csana art\u0131k a\u015f\u0131k de\u011filim\u201d diyece\u011fini biliyoruz. Eve gidecek, bunu s\u00f6yleyecek; bize bunu yapaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 hem d\u00fcn gece, hem de bug\u00fcn s\u00f6yledi. Yedi y\u0131ll\u0131k evliliklerinin biti\u015f noktas\u0131 bu. Ama bunun olaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 Melih bilmiyor.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cUzun a\u015fklar da uzun ya\u015fayan insanlara benziyor asl\u0131nda\u201d dedi bize bunu anlat\u0131rken. Epeydir bulutlu, mavi g\u00f6zlerini a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 indirdi, \u201cAl\u0131\u015f\u0131yorsun ama b\u0131k\u0131yorsun ikisinden de bence\u201d dedi.\u00a0 Sonra sanki yanl\u0131\u015f anlayaca\u011f\u0131mzdan korktu, aceleyle \u201cYok olsun istemiyorsun kar\u015f\u0131ndaki elbette ama sen de ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 al\u0131p bir gitmek, yeni biri olabilmek de istiyorsun. De\u011fil mi?\u201d Onay bekliyordu, bir cevap de\u011fil, karar\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7oktan vermi\u015fti belli ki.<\/p>\n<p>Tuba ile Melih yedi senedir evliydiler, ondan \u00f6nce de \u00fc\u00e7 sene \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015flar, en sonunda Tuba hamile kal\u0131nca kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131kl\u0131 oturup \u201cevlenelim bari\u201d demi\u015flerdi. Evlilik onlar\u0131n a\u015fklar\u0131n\u0131 de\u011fi\u015ftiremeyecekti. \u201cHaftada en az d\u00f6rt kere sevi\u015fiyoruz, d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnsene? Kimseyle olmad\u0131 bu daha \u00f6nce. Bitmez bu\u201d demi\u015fti ilk y\u0131llar\u0131n\u0131 kutlarken. Her an\u0131n\u0131 hat\u0131rl\u0131yorum; sesinin c\u0131v\u0131l c\u0131v\u0131ll\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, mavi g\u00f6zlerinin Melih\u2019i anlat\u0131rken a\u015fkla parlamas\u0131n\u0131, elleri bir an ayr\u0131lsa bile kendili\u011finden, birbirine dolanan sarma\u015f\u0131klar gibi yeniden, hemen biraraya gelmelerini. Onlar ilk y\u0131llar\u0131n\u0131 kutlarken ben de o g\u00fcne kadar ba\u015f\u0131ma gelen en derin ayr\u0131l\u0131k ac\u0131m\u0131 atlatmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yordum. Ve o kadar atlatamayaca\u011f\u0131m\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyordum ki hayatla ba\u011flar\u0131m\u0131 koparmaya karar vermi\u015ftim; evden hi\u00e7 \u00e7\u0131kmadan, perdeleri \u00e7ekili yatak odam\u0131n i\u00e7inde, kimseyle konu\u015fmadan bir ya\u015fam kurmu\u015ftum kendime. \u0130\u00e7imde gitti\u011fim yerin karanl\u0131\u011f\u0131 art\u0131k hayat\u0131m\u0131n her an\u0131nda vard\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>Ama bir Tuba da vard\u0131; \u00f6nce telefonlar\u0131 ba\u015flad\u0131. Telefonlar\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7may\u0131nca mesajlar\u0131. Telefonumu tamamen kapatt\u0131\u011f\u0131mda ise kap\u0131ma dikildi. \u00dcstelik yaln\u0131z de\u011fildi, yan\u0131nda Melih ve bir \u00e7ilingir vard\u0131. Ben ne oluyor diye odamdan \u00e7\u0131kana kadar \u00e7oktan evin kap\u0131 kilidini a\u00e7t\u0131rm\u0131\u015f ve bana do\u011fru y\u00fcr\u00fcmeye ba\u015flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>\u00d6nce kafama bir iki \u015faplak indirdi. \u201cAllah belan\u0131 versin senin\u201d dedi, \u201cbu kadar \u00f6nemsiz mi zannediyorsun kendini sen salak herif\u201d. Sana bir \u015fey olursa biz ne yapaca\u011f\u0131z san\u0131yorsun?\u201d. Sonra kendini b\u0131rak\u0131p a\u011flamaya ba\u015flad\u0131 ve bana sar\u0131ld\u0131. Biz orada a\u011fla\u015f\u0131rken herhalde berbat halimi g\u00f6ren ve bize g\u00f6re daha mant\u0131kl\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnebilen Melih \u201cgel bir du\u015f al\u201d diye beni Tuba\u2019n\u0131n kollar\u0131ndan ay\u0131rarak banyoya g\u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fc. \u201cKap\u0131y\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131k b\u0131rak\u0131yorum, bakmayaca\u011f\u0131m ama burada duraca\u011f\u0131m \u201c dedi.\u00a0 \u201cSen bir kahve yapsana dedi\u201d hala burnunu \u00e7eken Tuba\u2019ya. Tuba da ben de babalar\u0131n\u0131n isteklerine boyun e\u011fen \u00e7ocuklar gibi hi\u00e7 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmeden ve sessizce bize s\u00f6ylenenleri yapmaya ba\u015flad\u0131k.<\/p>\n<p>Du\u015ftan \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131\u011f\u0131mda tuhaf bir \u015fekilde kendimi daha iyi hissetmeye ba\u015flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m bile. Melih beni odada giyinirken de yaln\u0131z b\u0131rakmad\u0131. Ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 yerde, duvarlarda, tavanda gezdirerek giyinmemi bekledi. Sonra kolumdan tutup, salona do\u011fru ilerlemeye ba\u015flad\u0131. \u201cKahve i\u00e7elim \u015fimdi \u201c dedi. Sesi sakin, huzur vericiydi. G\u00fcnlerdir kimseyle konu\u015fmuyordum. \u0130nsan sesine ne kadar ihtiyac\u0131m oldu\u011funu bile unutmu\u015ftum. Tuba kahveleri getirdikten sonra benim yan\u0131ma sokuldu. Ben kahvemi i\u00e7erken ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131 ok\u015fad\u0131. \u201cBu gece bizimle yeme\u011fe geliyorsun\u201d dedi. Ba\u015fka bir \u015fey konu\u015fmad\u0131k. Kahvelerimiz bitince kap\u0131y\u0131 Melih kilitleyip, anahtarlar\u0131 kendi cebine koydu. \u201cBir s\u00fcre bizde kal\u201d dedi. \u201c\u00c7ilingir masraf\u0131 vermeyelim her g\u00fcn\u201d.<\/p>\n<p>\u0130\u015fte o gecenin onlar\u0131n birinci y\u0131ld\u00f6n\u00fcmlerini oldu\u011funu masaya gelen pasta ile anlad\u0131m. Her an\u0131n\u0131 hat\u0131rl\u0131yorum \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc onlar\u0131n mutlulu\u011fu bana kaybetti\u011fim mutlulu\u011fu hat\u0131rlat\u0131yor ve \u00e7ok fena can\u0131m\u0131 ac\u0131t\u0131yordu. Ama ilk y\u0131llar\u0131n\u0131 kutlarken bile beni hayata tutunmam i\u00e7in yanlar\u0131na almalar\u0131 kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda da hem eziliyordum hem de tuhaf bir bi\u00e7imde onlar\u0131n mutlulu\u011fundan keyif al\u0131yordum. O geceden sonra Tuba\u2019n\u0131n asl\u0131nda benim ailem oldu\u011funu anlad\u0131m. Onlar\u0131n mutlulu\u011funun uzun s\u00fcrmesi i\u00e7in de her \u015feyi yapacakt\u0131m. Bazen i\u015fin ucunda yalan s\u00f6ylemek bile olsa&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u0130nsan mutlu oldu\u011funu ya\u015farken de\u011fil, hat\u0131rlarken farkediyor. \u00a0 Gidelim buralardan Herkesin \u00fclkeyi terketme planlar\u0131 yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131 g\u00fcnlerdi. S\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131l\u0131yd\u0131k. Ya\u015farken fark\u0131na varmad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z o g\u00fczel g\u00fcnlerin bir daha asla geri gelmeyece\u011finin ay\u0131rd\u0131na varm\u0131\u015ft\u0131k. Yaz ba\u015flang\u0131c\u0131yd\u0131 ama hava \u015fimdiden \u00e7ok s\u0131cakt\u0131. Belki s\u0131cakl\u0131k ge\u00e7en y\u0131llarla ayn\u0131yd\u0131, ama \u015fehir ayn\u0131 \u015fehir de\u011fildi bizim i\u00e7in art\u0131k; uzun s\u00fcren bir birlikteli\u011fin s\u00fcr\u00fcnerek [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"featured_media":15550,"template":"","categories":[42,10],"class_list":["post-15664","stsp_text","type-stsp_text","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-issue-17","category-prosa"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.7 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>ausl\u00e4nder - stadtsprachen<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/stadtsprachen.de\/de\/text\/auslaender\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale:alternate\" content=\"de_DE\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"ausl\u00e4nder - stadtsprachen\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"\u0130nsan mutlu oldu\u011funu ya\u015farken de\u011fil, hat\u0131rlarken farkediyor. \u00a0 Gidelim buralardan Herkesin \u00fclkeyi terketme planlar\u0131 yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131 g\u00fcnlerdi. S\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131l\u0131yd\u0131k. Ya\u015farken fark\u0131na varmad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z o g\u00fczel g\u00fcnlerin bir daha asla geri gelmeyece\u011finin ay\u0131rd\u0131na varm\u0131\u015ft\u0131k. Yaz ba\u015flang\u0131c\u0131yd\u0131 ama hava \u015fimdiden \u00e7ok s\u0131cakt\u0131. Belki s\u0131cakl\u0131k ge\u00e7en y\u0131llarla ayn\u0131yd\u0131, ama \u015fehir ayn\u0131 \u015fehir de\u011fildi bizim i\u00e7in art\u0131k; uzun s\u00fcren bir birlikteli\u011fin s\u00fcr\u00fcnerek [&hellip;]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/stadtsprachen.de\/en\/text\/auslaender\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"stadtsprachen\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Stadtsprachen\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2025-08-26T13:26:40+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/stadtsprachen.de\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/22.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"470\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"358\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@stadtsprachen\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/stadtsprachen.de\\\/de\\\/text\\\/auslaender\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/stadtsprachen.de\\\/de\\\/text\\\/auslaender\\\/\",\"name\":\"ausl\u00e4nder - 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S\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131l\u0131yd\u0131k. Ya\u015farken fark\u0131na varmad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z o g\u00fczel g\u00fcnlerin bir daha asla geri gelmeyece\u011finin ay\u0131rd\u0131na varm\u0131\u015ft\u0131k. Yaz ba\u015flang\u0131c\u0131yd\u0131 ama hava \u015fimdiden \u00e7ok s\u0131cakt\u0131. 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