{"id":24067,"date":"2025-07-01T14:15:00","date_gmt":"2025-07-01T12:15:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/stadtsprachen.de\/de\/?post_type=stsp_text&p=24067"},"modified":"2025-07-03T13:46:19","modified_gmt":"2025-07-03T11:46:19","slug":"in-toate-va-fi-frumusete","status":"publish","type":"stsp_text","link":"https:\/\/stadtsprachen.de\/en\/text\/in-toate-va-fi-frumusete\/","title":{"rendered":"\u00cen toate va fi frumuse\u021be"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Disclaimer:<\/strong>
This essay is a fictional work. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. The views expressed are solely those of the author and do not reflect the position of any organization, entity, or individual. The content should not be interpreted as factual or as an accurate representation of real people or events.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

2023<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P\u0103rin\u021bii mei au plecat deja. Au mai r\u0103mas c\u00e2teva urme ale trecerii lor prin locuin\u021ba mea, pe care au vizitat-o pentru prima dat\u0103: dou\u0103 c\u0103ni de cafea pe masa din buc\u0103t\u0103rie; un strop de parfum \u00een aer, cur\u0103\u021benia, felul \u00een care mama a \u00eemp\u0103turit prosoapele de buc\u0103t\u0103rie pe blat. Privighetoarea c\u00e2nt\u0103. E patru diminea\u021ba \u0219i tocmai mi-am condus p\u0103rin\u021bii la aeroport. Nu \u00eemi doresc ca aceast\u0103 noapte s\u0103 se transforme \u00een zi \u00een cur\u00e2nd. Vreau s\u0103 r\u0103m\u00e2n\u0103 \u00eentuneric, ca s\u0103 mai pot avea iluzia prezen\u021bei p\u0103rin\u021bilor mei \u00een casa mea, c\u0103ldura lor \u00eenc\u0103 sub cuverturile patului meu, mirosurile, impresia c\u0103 m\u0103 a\u0219teapt\u0103 aici. P\u00e2inea pe care a f\u0103cut-o mama mea, jum\u0103tatea care a mai r\u0103mas din ea, din care voi m\u00e2nca \u00een urm\u0103toarele cinci zile. Fr\u0103m\u00e2nt\u0103ri de vacan\u021b\u0103, \u00een covata min\u021bii.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Daca a\u0219 putea, m-a\u0219 \u00eentoarce \u00een ianuarie, c\u00e2nd timpul trecea foarte incet, iar lumea era lini\u0219tit\u0103. Pe timp de var\u0103 nu \u0219tiu s\u0103 g\u0103sesc genul \u0103sta de liniste, dec\u00e2t dac\u0103 \u00eencep sa ma trezesc la trei noaptea. P\u00e2n\u0103 la urm\u0103, a\u0219a se trezeau oamenii, preistoric vorbind. S\u0103 te treze\u0219ti la trei, s\u0103 lucrezi, s\u0103 cite\u0219ti, s\u0103 munce\u0219ti la c\u00e2mp sau s\u0103 v\u00e2nezi, \u00een t\u0103cere, apoi s\u0103 te \u00eentorci la somn c\u00e2nd lumea \u00eencepe s\u0103 se trezeasc\u0103, s\u0103 te treze\u0219ti din nou c\u00e2nd soarele este r\u0103s\u0103rit pe cer, s\u0103 te culci la \u0219apte sau nou\u0103, s\u0103 te scoli iar la trei. Dac\u0103 a\u0219 locui l\u00e2ng\u0103 un iaz, sau un lac, m-a\u0219 trezi atunci doar s\u0103 aud via\u021ba de noapte a st\u00e2rcului, \u0219i a broa\u0219telor c\u00e2nt\u0103toare, a insectelor \u0219i a copacilor. Dar locuiesc \u00eentr-un ora\u0219. Nu \u0219tiu ce se va \u00eent\u00e2mpla cu casa de la \u021bar\u0103 a p\u0103rin\u021bilor mei. Nu \u0219tiu ce se va \u00eent\u00e2mpla cu noi. De cealalt\u0103 parte a ne\u00eencerc\u0103rii de a controla viitorul, de a anticipa fiecare eveniment mic sau mare din via\u021b\u0103, se afl\u0103 lini\u0219tea acestor ore, lini\u0219tea necunoscutului. Lini\u0219tea de a nu verifica e-mailul, lini\u0219tea de a nu pretinde c\u0103 \u0219tim mai bine dec\u00e2t \u00eenainte, sau dec\u00e2t ceilal\u021bi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lumina se ridic\u0103 \u00eencet, \u0219i nu vreau asta. M\u0103 voi \u00eentoarce s\u0103 termin de citit \u201cOrdesa\u201d, de Manuel Vilas, \u00een rom\u00e2n\u0103 au tradus-o cu un titlu mai bun: \u201c\u00cen toate a fost frumuse\u021be\u201d. O carte despre un b\u0103rbat de v\u00e2rst\u0103 mijlocie care tr\u0103ie\u0219te \u00een satul p\u0103rin\u021bilor s\u0103i, \u00een locul \u00een care s-a n\u0103scut, vorbind cu p\u0103rin\u021bii s\u0103i mor\u021bi, scriindu-\u0219i romanele, \u00een Spania, \u0219i-ar fi dorit s\u0103 mearg\u0103. \u0218i Spania \u0219i s\u0103-\u0219i tr\u0103iasc\u0103 restul zilelor acolo f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 fac\u0103 nimic. Voi termina de citit \u0219i trilogia \u201cOutline\u201d. Mai trebuie s\u0103 termin de citit \u201cKudos\u201d, care pare o carte bun\u0103 de terminat vara. Am citit \u201cOutline\u201d \u00een 2021 \u0219i \u201cTransit\u201d \u00een 2022, ambele \u00een timpul verii. De fiecare dat\u0103 au adus lucrurile la ceva. C\u0103r\u021bi despre scriitori \u0219i despre cum tr\u0103iesc ace\u0219tia.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sunt importante pentru c\u0103 ne fac s\u0103 ne sim\u021bim mai pu\u021bin singuri.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sunt mereu singur\u0103 aici. Las radioul s\u0103 mearg\u0103 pe postul Klassic Radio c\u00e2nd plec de acas\u0103, astfel \u00eenc\u00e2t un zgomot familiar m\u0103 a\u0219teapt\u0103 c\u00e2nd revin. \u00cemi d\u0103 iluzia c\u0103 exist\u0103 via\u021b\u0103 \u00een cas\u0103, c\u0103 sunt oameni \u00een cas\u0103, mai ales \u00een buc\u0103t\u0103rie. Mama mi-a sugerat un ceas de perete de buc\u0103t\u0103rie. Aceea\u0219i idee am avut-o acum ceva timp, c\u00e2nd lucram la finalizarea decora\u021biunilor de perete. Un ceas de perete de buc\u0103t\u0103rie este ceva cu care am crescut \u0219i peste tot erau \u0219i ceasuri, c\u00e2te unul \u00een fiecare camer\u0103, mic sau mare. Tic\u00e2itul secundelor este ceva pe care b\u0103tr\u00e2nii \u00eel ascult\u0103. Fostul meu so\u021b avea \u0219i el unul, iar casa lui mare era \u0219i o relicv\u0103 a acelei vechi vie\u021bi. Casele \u00een care locuiesc persoanele mai \u00een v\u00e2rst\u0103 se simt confortabil, calde \u0219i au senza\u021bia de familie. Te po\u021bi muta dintr-o parte a casei \u00een alta, te po\u021bi plimba pe coridoare. Acum am un coridor \u0219i un hol mic la intrare. De mult mi-am dorit doar s\u0103 am o cas\u0103 cu coridor. Era o b\u0103tr\u00e2n\u0103, sau o vecin\u0103, c\u00e2nd eram copil, care \u00eei spunea bunicii c\u0103 \u00eei pl\u0103cea s\u0103 se plimbe prin cas\u0103 seara, c\u00e2nd se terminau toate treburile casei, \u0219i s\u0103 ating\u0103 pere\u021bii coridorului cu ambele m\u00e2ini, complet r\u0103sp\u00e2ndite la lungimea bra\u021bului. Trebuie s\u0103 fie ceva temeinic s\u0103 te po\u021bi r\u0103sp\u00e2ndi a\u0219a \u0219i s\u0103 atingi pere\u021bii coridorului cu ambele palme. Am \u0219ov\u0103it \u0219i casa a \u0219ov\u0103it \u0219i ea. Am oftat \u0219i casa a oftat \u0219i ea.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00cen Berlin e foarte mult\u0103 singur\u0103tate. E prin defini\u021bie un loc Saturnian, spunea astrologul meu, \u0219i statistic vorbind, capitala european\u0103 a singur\u0103t\u0103\u021bii, cum a botezat-o Deutsche Welle \u00een 2018. Tagesspiegel scria \u00een acela\u0219i an c\u0103 peste 1.300 de persoane s-au angrenat \u00een munc\u0103 de voluntariat pentru combaterea singur\u0103t\u0103\u021bii. Poate sun\u0103 mult, dar ora\u0219ul are 3,6 milioane de locuitori \u0219i acest num\u0103r cre\u0219te \u00een fiecare an. Acela\u0219i raport a constatat c\u0103 cel pu\u021bin 300 de persoane pe an mor \u00een apartamentele lor, neobservate uneori timp de s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2ni. \u00cemi recunosc singur\u0103tatea f\u0103r\u0103 probleme. Oamenii caut\u0103 mereu motive, o metod\u0103 de explica\u021bie, ceva care s\u0103-\u0219i u\u0219ureze propria grea\u021b\u0103 la g\u00e2ndul la aparenta mea distan\u021b\u0103 de apropiere. La urma urmei, este u\u0219or s\u0103 cau\u021bi motive. Cel mai u\u0219or lucru din lume. \u00cen singur\u0103tate ai foarte mult timp s\u0103 te g\u00e2nde\u0219ti la timp. S\u0103 scrii, s\u0103 meditezi la trecut, prezent \u0219i viitor, mai ales la viitor. Lucrurile nu se leag\u0103 mereu foarte bine c\u00e2nd e\u0219ti prea singur. Nici p\u00e2inea nu se leag\u0103 f\u0103r\u0103 m\u00e2inile unui om, care fr\u0103m\u00e2nt\u0103 \u0219i \u00eencheag\u0103 toate ingredientele laolalt\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00cen filmul \u201eEl Planeta\u201d, Leonor, interpretat\u0103 de Amalia Ulman, \u0219i mama ei din via\u021ba real\u0103, Ale, fac lucruri nebune\u0219ti c\u00e2nd r\u0103m\u00e2n f\u0103r\u0103 bani dup\u0103 moartea tat\u0103lui lui Leonor, pentru c\u0103 nu le place lumea nou\u0103. Un pic asem\u0103n\u0103tor cu mine \u0219i p\u0103rin\u021bii mei merg\u00e2nd la magazine \u0219i supermarketuri, la mall, m\u00e2nc\u00e2nd din economii c\u00e2nd s-au terminat banii, dar m\u00e2nc\u00e2nd afar\u0103 \u0219i bine. La fel ca \u0219i Cate Blanchet \u00een Blue Jasmine al lui Woody Allen.  Pentru ce ar trebui s\u0103 fie economiile? Cafeaua pe a spus mama c\u0103 ar trebui s\u0103 o cump\u0103r \u00eenainte de a veni s\u0103 m\u0103 vad\u0103 oricum are un gust foarte bun. S-ar putea s\u0103 o cump\u0103r din nou. Este mai bun\u0103 dec\u00e2t espresso-ul bio, care oricum nu este bio deloc. C\u00e2nd a \u00eenceput toat\u0103 lumea s\u0103 cumpere bio \u0219i de ce? C\u00e2nd eram cel mai s\u0103rac\u0103 am mers \u00een magazine de haine. Este ceva reconfortant \u00een momentele \u00een care te sim\u021bi cel mai \u00een pericol g\u00e2ndidu-te la viitor, s\u0103 mergi s\u0103 te \u00eenconjuri de frumos, sau m\u0103car de percep\u021bia de confort.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Oricum, nevoia de a controla viitorul are de-a face cu un plan de via\u021b\u0103. Ce facem c\u00e2nd nu exist\u0103 niciun plan sau dac\u0103 exist\u0103 prea multe planuri posibile, variabile sau nu mai avem chef de planificare, p\u00e2n\u0103 la urm\u0103?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mi-ar fi pl\u0103cut s\u0103 merg cu so\u021bul meu \u00een sudul Spaniei \u0219i chiar \u00een nord, unde se g\u0103sesc stridii \u0219i petrec ceva timp acolo, \u00een ora\u0219e mici, \u0219i stau \u00eentins\u0103 pe plaj\u0103, citind \u00een pace, \u0219i s\u0103 mergem m\u00e2n\u0103 \u00een m\u00e2n\u0103. M\u00e2n\u0103 \u00een m\u00e2n\u0103 \u0219i dans\u00e2nd noaptea \u00een localuri mici, vechi, cu localnici vechi. Poate mi-ar fi pl\u0103cut s\u0103 fac asta chiar \u0219i cu un alt b\u0103rbat, care nu era so\u021bul meu, doar pentru c\u0103 aveam visul s\u0103 fac asta. Dar el era singurul disponibil pentru a proiecta visul asupra lui. \u00cenc\u0103 nu \u0219tiu cum s\u0103 proiectez acest gen de vis asupra unui str\u0103in, \u00eemi pot imagina doar c\u0103 s-ar sim\u021bi frumos, s\u0103 fiu iubit\u0103, \u021binut\u0103 \u00een bra\u021be \u0219i apreciat\u0103 de un prieten cel mai bun care vorbe\u0219te cu mine despre literatur\u0103 \u0219i vrea s\u0103 ne \u0219i distr\u0103m \u0219i s\u0103 privim cum cre\u0219te via\u021ba dintre noi, dar vreau s\u0103 m\u0103 doreasc\u0103 \u0219i s\u0103 m\u0103 iubeasc\u0103, nu doar s\u0103 aib\u0103 din c\u00e2nd \u00een c\u00e2nd nevoie de mine. Nu \u0219tiu dac\u0103 voi experimenta vreodat\u0103 asta. Nu \u00een\u021beleg de ce ar trebui s\u0103 se \u00eent\u00e2mple. Pare \u0219i de trecut, cel pu\u021bin aici \u00een ora\u0219, iar acum iese lumina zilei. A te \u021bine de m\u00e2n\u0103 cu cineva iubit este un gest frumos, se simte minunat \u0219i cald. Exist\u0103 o lini\u0219te \u00een a \u0219ti c\u0103 nu \u00ee\u021bi vor da drumul. Chinurile foamei devin de alt fel, poate mai existen\u021biale sau mai banale, cum ar fi ce m\u00e2nc\u0103m \u00een continuare, dar nevoia primar\u0103 de a avea conexiunea emo\u021bional\u0103 cu o alt\u0103 fiin\u021b\u0103 uman\u0103 este \u00eendeplinit\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Suferin\u021ba este ca un elastic. Via\u021ba \u00een ora\u0219 stimuleaz\u0103 stresul (\u0219tim cu to\u021bii). Berlinul este un centru mare al creativit\u0103\u021bii, dar te po\u021bi sim\u021bi izolat social, deoarece ajungem s\u0103 ne compar\u0103m sau s\u0103 c\u0103ut\u0103m motive pentru care e ceva \u00een neregul\u0103 cu noi, nu cu situa\u021bia general\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00cen \u201eEl Planeta\u201d, Leonor \u00eent\u00e2lne\u0219te un b\u0103rbat la magazinul turistic din Giron, \u00een timp ce Ale fur\u0103 elastice de p\u0103r \u0219i \u0219ampon. Leonor \u00eel place pe v\u00e2nz\u0103or \u0219i crede c\u0103 \u0219i el o place, a\u0219a c\u0103 el o duce la o \u00eent\u00e2lnire cu fructe de mare la un restaurant dr\u0103gu\u021b, apoi se plimb\u0103 cu sticla de vin prin port \u0219i o s\u0103rut\u0103. Se pare, \u00eens\u0103, c\u0103 e c\u0103s\u0103torit \u0219i vrea s\u0103 cumpere pantofi mici pentru fiul s\u0103u, cu ajutorul ei, dup\u0103 o noapte intim\u0103. Ea este dezam\u0103git\u0103 \u0219i \u00eel p\u0103r\u0103se\u0219te \u00een fa\u021ba magazinului. Am cam \u00een\u021beles ce a vrut s\u0103 spun\u0103. Gestul m-a f\u0103cut s\u0103 m\u0103 g\u00e2ndesc la o var\u0103 de acum c\u00e2\u021biva ani, \u00een care am fr\u0103m\u00e2ntat idei despre cum s\u0103 fac s\u0103 mai tr\u0103iesc, \u0219i m-am l\u0103sat fr\u0103m\u00e2ntat\u0103 de tentaculele marelui necunoscut ce includea prostitu\u021bie \u0219i destitu\u021bie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00cen casa unde am locuit acum c\u00e2\u021biva ani, vecinul meu se numea Nikola Miccolo \u0219i era pianist. \u00centr-o zi am v\u0103zut un grup de b\u0103rba\u021bi livr\u00e2ndu-i un nou pian nou acas\u0103. Eram pe balcon \u0219i i-am v\u0103zut. L-am c\u0103utat atunci pe Google pe Nikola Miccolo \u0219i am aflat c\u0103 este un muzician cu un CV impresionant, lucr\u00e2nd la Spotify. Mi-am dorit mereu s\u0103-l cunosc pe Nikola. Dar so\u021bul meu nu l-a invitat niciodat\u0103 \u0219i cred c\u0103 nici m\u0103car nu a vrut cu adev\u0103rat. Am vrut s\u0103-i trimit un mesaj lui Nikola Miccolo \u0219i s\u0103-i spun cum practica lui zilnic\u0103 la pian \u00eemi ajuta sufletul s\u0103 supravie\u021buiasc\u0103. F\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 \u0219tie, el devenise unul dintre oamenii care m\u0103 ajutau s\u0103 exist. M\u0103 \u00eentreb dac\u0103 oamenii-arti\u015fti sau arti\u015ftii-oameni se sperie c\u00e2nd primesc astfel de declara\u0163ii de adev\u0103r de la oamenii c\u0103rora le ating sufletele. \u0218i eu m\u0103 emo\u021bionez, ca artist-om sau om-artist, c\u00e2nd primesc astfel de complimente. Am fost foarte obosit\u0103 \u00een acea var\u0103, dar Nikola \u0219i pianul lui m-au f\u0103cut s\u0103 z\u00e2mbesc. La fel ca \u00een acea var\u0103, \u00een cea de acum mi-e dor s\u0103 dorm mult \u0219i f\u0103r\u0103 niciun vis. M\u0103 \u00eentreb dac\u0103 sunt pe drumul cel bun, dar trebuie s\u0103 nu m\u0103 \u00eentreb prea mult, probabil. Pentru c\u0103 nu am timpul sau luxul s\u0103 colind, s\u0103 cheltui \u0219i s\u0103 tr\u0103iesc peste mijloacele mele \u00een aceast\u0103 lume, a\u0219a cum au f\u0103cut Ale \u0219i Leonor, a\u0219a cum au f\u0103cut at\u00e2\u021bia oameni pe care \u00eei cunosc \u0219i care cumva au scos-o totu\u0219i la cap\u0103t. M\u0103 \u00eentreb unde voi fi peste trei luni de acum \u00eenainte. Dar cred c\u0103 vreau s\u0103 fiu \u00eentr-un loc de munc\u0103 stabil, interesant. Probabil \u00eenc\u0103 nu am aflat cum se termin\u0103 acest capitol din via\u021ba mea. Chiar dac\u0103 au trecut ani \u0219i ani, \u00eei trimite un e-mail lui Nikola Miccolo, pianistul \u0219i poate aceasta va fi o alt\u0103 pagin\u0103 \u00een timp. O parte din mine se \u00eent\u0103re\u0219te ca o piatr\u0103 \u00een jurul trecutului moale care mi-a f\u0103cut curajul s\u0103 se simt\u0103 ca un burete pentru cea mai mare parte a vie\u021bii mele. Vreau s\u0103 fiu eroina din aceast\u0103 poveste \u0219i s\u0103 c\u00e2\u0219tig b\u0103t\u0103lia cu frica mea. Sau poate c\u0103 am s\u0103 fr\u0103m\u00e2nt o p\u00e2ine dup\u0103 re\u021beta mamei, am s\u0103 \u00eencalec pe-o \u0219a \u0219i aceasta va fi fost povestea.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00cen toate va fi frumuse\u021be, oricum.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Disclaimer:This essay is a fictional work. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. The views expressed are solely those of the author and do not reflect the position of any organization, entity, or individual. 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